Sunday, January 29, 2006
Another stormy day here in New Westminster.
I have superb view of the Pattulo Bridge (AKA Bridge of Death) from my living room window, and I just spent a good hour staring out of it. Our apartment building is, let's say, antiquely, so when the winds flair up the single-paned windows shake, rattle and literally, roll on their sills. A dark and stormy day; no more interesting than any other day, until about mid afternoon.
Sometimes there are moments in life that we anticipate so much, that the moment itself can start to seem like a fantasy that will never be real. Sometimes willing something excessively will only add to burden and problem itself. But most often, we only obsess over something if it really matters. If we have a vested or emotional interest in it. If we care for it and reasons don't matter.
I have been willing something to happen for many months now. Now that it has finally happened, on this windy, rainy afternoon, my relief is unsettling. Relief it surely is--undeniably and without doubt the hallow feeling inside has subsided substantially, for now anyways. And I feel glad that my conscious can relax, for now anyways. And all it took was a call. A call from a long-lost friend, who apparently did receive my wishes and prayers for strength and managed to make that all-important, mid-afternoon call.
On such a dark and stormy day.
Such a bright and sunny day, to me.